Trusting God is complex sometimes.
I was thinking the other day about trusting God with my life. I wanted to say, "Okay, Lord, no matter what circumstances come, that's okay because I know You have a plan."
That isn't a bad mindset, but it can be warped. I was looking at hard situations in my life and giving them over to the Lord, saying I trusted His having a plan in them. But then I noticed something going on in my heart. I wasn't exactly trusting. My heart held more of a ... resignation.
There's a bitter flavor to that word. It can carry the emotion of going along with something against one's will.
I don't want to be resigned to God's will. I want to embrace it! I want to look back at times I didn't understand God's work and say, "Thank You, God. I know You are working things together for my good." (Rom 8:28)
Now, I'm not saying we have to be exactly thankful for all hard times. What I'm really trying to say is that I don't believe a true heart of trust is one of resignation. It is one of embracing the path God leads us along, even when it is painful. It is one of embracing the wisdom and love of our God and not allowing bitterness or doubt to live and grow in our hearts.
What I'm trying to say is that I've experienced resignation.
And I want something more.